Goodbye, Little One...

I interrupt the usual positive, enthusiastic voice of this vegan food blog to share with all of you some very sad news. I have withheld any information about it for months now as I was anticipating a happy announcement 'at the right time'. As of yesterday, we found that that day will not come for quite a while. It is with heavy heart and saddened soul that I tell you that a 10 week ultrasound by my OB yesterday showed lack of fetal growth beyond likely the 8th week and no detectable heartbeat.

Yesterday proved to be the most horrific experience of my life. To go from the highest of highs when we saw the shape of our baby on the u/s monitor..to the lowest low in realizing that the shape was more that of an embryo than the fetus he/she should have become and that there was no heartbeat in sight was more emotionally devastating than words can describe.

We have no other children save the amazing four legged creatures that allow us to share this life and space on earth with them. In fact, it was only this last year that we realized we even wanted to create life and bring it into this world together. Before then, the environmentalist in me thought there are already entirely too many people on the planet. This recent loss has shown us just how much we truly wanted this. It has awakened in each of us the realization of all the hopes and dreams we'd already begun to have for our little family, how beautiful and miraculous the creation of life from our love truly is.

We will try again when we can, but for now we grieve the loss of this little one who was already so very loved by both of us and our friends and family.

Why am I telling you this here? In each of you who visit and comment I find a like-minded spirit and kindred soul. I need to share this with you in order to move on, to continue to use this place as a forum of positivity and creativity in the lifestyle I so adore and embrace and want to share with the world. To not share this with you would hold me back, somehow, from returning to my 'normal' life. I will never forget every second of yesterday nor will I forget or ever stop loving the little life that had only just begun inside me...but I need to put out into the universe my eternal gratitude that I am even able to conceive, that I am forever hopeful for the future even in the face of this heart-wrenching circumstance, that saddened seems like an empty word when trying to describe the condition of my heart at this time.

I woke this morning and found myself hours later, in the kitchen, still cooking up this and that, imagining sharing each thing created with you. I knew that I would not be able to blog here again until I relayed the impetus for my time in the kitchen. I think that chopping things and focusing on each item was more immediate therapy than anything else I know.

I am fortunate enough to be married to my very best friend and, in each other, we are sure to begin a path to healing and on to our next venture into creating a family. For now, we prepare for a D&E procedure next week as my body does not seem to want to correct the situation on its own and I, honestly, don't know if I can wait for that to happen, emotionally. I will likely not blog again until the D&E is well behind me.

But know that I am as well as I can be and looking forward to feeling like myself again soon, sharing with each of you the products of my 'therapy'.

and to the universe as it claims our little loved one...thank you for proving to each of us just how much our love for each other desires to blossom and grow, just how much we love each other in the face of both joy and sorrow.

and to our lost little one...

How very softly you tiptoed into our world.

You only stayed a moment, but what an imprint

your footsteps have left upon our hearts.

so much love to all

Thirsty? Drink This!

A friend of mine (and excellent hostess) once served me a naturally caffeine free, refreshing concoction she lovingly referred to as 'Hippie Cool-Aide'. It needs no sweetener, is delicate and thirst-quenching, and has none of that pesky caffeine that so many of us try to avoid.

In a word? Perfection in a glass. OK, maybe that's four words.... but they certainly accurately describe this tasty tea. The combo is Tazo's Passion Herbal Infusion (a naturally subtly sweet, rosy blend of hibiscus flowers, licorice root, orange peel, cinnamon bark, rose hips, lemon grass and tropical fruits) and Bija's Certified Organic Double Ginger Tea (full of lots of ginger root with a touch of lemon grass, peppermint leaf, licorice root, and black pepper...all organically grown).

Sure, you could enjoy this blend hot, you could even go all out and supplement it with your sweetener of choice...but we elect to sip it iced and in it's purest form. It's just barely sweet and allows you to truly appreciate all the flavors of both teas as they linger on your palate. When I'm feeling especially bold, I just steep two bags of each in 2qts of water instead of just one of each. Aside from that? I wouldn't dare change a thing!

And just what do I feast on when tipping back a nice, cold glass of Hippie Cool-Aide? Why, a ginormous, crisp, fresh salad, of course!
This one was a huge bed of green leaf lettuce weighed down with cucumber, red bell pepper, carrot shavings, green onion, roasted chickpeas, and Makoto Ginger Dressing. There can never be to much ginger consumption in one sitting, in my opinion.

Knead? No Need! Bread

I've seen the blog entries. I've read the articles. I know that the No Knead bread craze has taken over the vegan blog food world.

While I actually enjoy kneading bread, the promise of the shard-like crust and perfect crumb was the impetus for this... my newest kitchen toy. It's no Le Creuset (there is just NO WAY I'd be able to afford that kind of price tag!) but this 5-qt. apple green enameled cast iron beauty of a dutch oven is all mine, thank you eBay, for less than a quarter of the price of it's fancy, schmancy counterpart. (and I'm not even factoring in the FREE stainless steel dutch oven they threw in by accident and let me keep!).

I honestly had not a single bowl in my collection large enough, Pyrex or otherwise, that I could toss in the oven to try out the no knead bread so this was a delight to finally receive in the mail. Twenty-two hours later and I had this...I used 1/3 whole wheat flour, regular active yeast instead of instant (using about 1/3 tsp) and went with the 1 1/2 c. water that I'd read about over the 1 5/8c. I also measured the needed water in my measuring cup and used a bit of it to proof my yeast first while mixing dry ingredients. I then opted for cornmeal over flour at the end because I love the way it laughs in the face of anything sticking to anything where dough is concerned.

I admit that, at first, I didn't think mine was going to turn out well. It didn't look much like the pictures I'd seen after the first 20 hours, not nearly as wet and sticky, and it didn't rise in the second 2 hour period to double its size as the recipe said it would.

No matter, just look at that amazing loaf! No, really! Look! And the taste is great, too. I do think it could use a little something, though. I think I may add a little sugar in the yeast proofing step next time. Or maybe some fresh herbs in the dough itself? I do believe that the possibilities for this stuff are endless! But do watch those pearly whites! They're not kidding about the hard exterior. That stuff is serious business...but all kindsa yummy!

Tempeh Teriyaki Take One....and Two!

As much as I love the food over at Eat Air, I've gotten the feeling the last few days that I'm blog stalking them. First, I was inspired to recreate the Orange Seitan, then I found we'd each blogged about burritos within 24 hours of one another, and now this... Vegan Planet's Teriyaki Tempeh (mine served with garlic broccoli over instant white *shudder* rice). I kid you not, I was perusing blogs one evening when I saw that this is what they'd had for dinner....all the while my VP was open in the kitchen to that very recipe for I was craving tempeh and that was what I'd picked to satisfy my tempeh need the next day!

Even the Cap'n who is still not sold on all things tempeh was heard to say that, "That just might be the best flavored tempeh you've made to date!....you know, for tempeh." I think I may try the marinade on tofu next time so that we can both truly enjoy it.

The flavor was indeed so good that I just had to have it again for lunch today.
This time I threw some brown sushi rice in the pressure cooker while sauteing half a sweet onion, one large carrot, one 8oz package of mushrooms, a splash of lo sodium tamari, and half a bag of baby spinach (in that order) in a bit of peanut oil.

I think it's so funny that so many of us coincidentally make some of the same things at the same time. Great minds, indeed!

Great Way to Start The Day

Ever have those days you just wake up ravenous?! That's how this morning was for me, and quickly satisfied with the help of this yummy smoothie
1 c. plain soy milk
1 c. blueberry soy yogurt
1 c. frozen blueberries
2 tsp. agave nectar

and these awesome waffles.I usually buy the flax seed variety but have been eyeing the hemp version for some time. These whole grain powerhousesdidn't disappoint toasted and topped with walnuts, fresh banana and some pure maple syrup.

Right now I'm blogging during half-time, allowing my tempeh to marinate for tonight and my first attempt at no knead bread to do whatever it does for 20 hours. During the game I'd used up whatever tempeh was left that wouldn't fit into the pan I'm using to marinade and made a little mock chicken salad with it.I just mashed up the poached tempeh with some Vegannaise, a drop or two each of tamari and veg. worst. sauce, salt, pepper, tarragon, slivered almonds, and raisins. Served on some black pepper and olive oil triscuits (these are sooooo good!) with a huge navel orange, this was a great lunch while cheering on my favorite college team.

Go Gators!